Goals For Senior Year

Each new school year, I make myself a goal list.

My overly ambitious self assumes that (based on the laws of attraction, of course) if I write down my wishes, they will come true. Unfortunately, my Notes app on my iPhone isn’t a genie bottle. I sometimes forget that.

I’m almost embarrassed to share my junior year goal list with you. Basically, none of my “wishes” came true. But, I guess that is exactly what happens when believe that your life path exists as one straight line. You cannot predict or plan your future. I learned this the hard way.

My Junior Year Goal List Was:

  1. Start A Blog
  2. Become A Freelance Writer For A Magazine
  3. Cut Down On Drinking & Partying
  4. Meditate Everyday
  5. Don’t Be Such A Bitch To Men (Some Guys Are Actually Nice)
  6. Start Reading Again
  7. Become President Of AOII

The only goal I was actually able to complete was Number 1. Numbers 2-4 happened partially or later on in the year. Numbers 5-7 didn’t happen at all. What I hate most in life is being labelled as a failure. I feel as if I failed because I was unable to complete all these goals. I’m in complete shock that I’m even sharing this list with the world right now… But, there is a reason why I am doing so. 

No one should have to feel like a failure.

I cannot emphasize this enough. Trying to achieve a certain amount of goals in a short period of time is nearly impossible to do. The motivated self you are at the beginning of a new term isn’t who you will be throughout the actual year. Life is unpredictable. There will be hurdles along the way.

The only reason I decided to keep and even share my failed list of goals from my junior year was so that I can avoid making the same mistakes when creating my new list. Almost instantly I know that adding any goals that involve the help or reliance on other people should be disregarded. You need to be in charge of your goals. You cannot be dependent on the unreliability of others. 

Next, I need to remember that daily schedules get busy. I tend to make goals when my life is at a bit of a halt. The silence I hear in my life now won’t last very long. Soon I will be bombarded with school assignments, events, travel, work, blogging, running errands, and all of the unforeseen circumstances that might come my way. Because of this, any daily or leisure goals this year will be avoided.

You can control the future (Well, to some degree).

Life remains unpredictable. But, striving for a particular end result is in fact do-able. That is, if you remain realistic and continue to be hard-working. I continue to make goal lists because they are what push me through my day-to-day activities. Yes, goals to me are literally an imaginary person I create to forcibly push me in the right direction. And failed goals you might ask? To stick with the same imagery, failure exists as another imaginary friend. Failure was once that friend that used to push me towards success, but has since failed me.  This was either because of a change in my life direction, unforeseen circumstances, etc. Yet, failure will forever be in my life. It now exists as a hardship I have overcome, a lesson I have learned and a push to try even harder in the future.

Now… The long awaited goal list for my upcoming senior year.

My Goal List This Year Is:

  1. Get a 4.0 GPA both semesters of school
  2. Befriend all my professors – Ask for extra help and recommendation letters
  3. Earn $10,000 in profit through work, other freelancing opportunities, selling pre-loved things to new & welcoming homes, and blogging (a girl can still dream)
  4. Volunteer once a month. It doesn’t matter where, when, or what charity
  5. Buy a sewing machine then learn how to use it – THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST UP SOON ON MY NEW OBSESSION WITH RE-WORKED CLOTHES & SLOW FASHION!! LET’S ALL WORK TOWARDS ENDING SWEATSHOPS

 

 

My First Bit Of Hate Mail

Being an aspiring journalist is hard.

Kind of like being a celebrity, it takes A LOT for a journalist to get noticed in the digital age. As much as I want to sit around at home and write about all my morally correct, feminist views – I know I can’t. Being correct does not get you views; being controversial does.

So I decided to go to the dark side and got a gig as a click-bait journalist… I know, I hate myself too! And it makes me kind of upset that all my profit is coming from stupid, Buzzfeed type articles, instead of articles that actually mean something to me. ANYWAYS, the other day I wrote an article that stirred up a bit of controversy. It was assigned to me by my editor and no, I do not agree with anything that I wrote. It was a challenging article write because it went against ALL my morals. I even made that clear in the introduction of the piece.

Within minutes of this piece getting published, I received SUCH HATE from sooooo many women. I can’t help but feel kind of upset that my morality is being questioned because I agreed to write such a controversial article.

On one hand, I know this article will get me a lot of views because of the questionable content. On the other, I kind of regret writing it. I wish young, aspiring journalists did not have to turn to such extreme measures just to get views and profit for their content.

I Stopped Thinking About You

I thought about you everyday.

You were the first thought I had when I woke up in the morning. You were the last thought I had before I went to sleep.

Wherever I went, you were on my mind. I would walk through a store and imagine outfits I might wear when we are together. I would plan what club, restaurant, or bar I went to in hopes that I would run into you there.

I would imagine scenarios of us in my head. You in bed with me. You at this party. You having dinner with my family. None of these scenarios ever played out.

When you would message me, I would get butterflies. When we would hang out, I lived in the moment with you. And when you would leave, I would think about the next time we would be together.

I thought about you everyday. Until one day, I didn’t.

I was out living my life. Out, thinking about me. Then, I felt as if I was missing something. I felt so whole. I felt so clear-headed.

Then it hit me, I stopped thinking about you. I wasn’t missing you anymore. You were no longer part of my everyday thoughts and routines.

I felt a little uneasy about this new feeling. This new life, which you were not apart of.

And then, I started thinking about you again. But this time, it was because I knew it would be the last.

Cass Next Door

I love taking photos. I love it even more when I’m photographing my best friends. Meet Cassandra, the subject of my second photo series.

Best Friends Forever

We take the term “bff” to a whole new level. We met back in junior kindergarten. How we became friends, I’m not quite sure… We were only 5 years old at the time. What I do remember were playdates spent jamming out to Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, ABBA, Paula Abdul, and Cher (Very unusual music taste for young girls). For each birthday, our moms would buy us matching clothing. And, we would plan days where we would actually wear these matching clothes.

Seventeen years later, after attending different high schools and post-secondary schools, we are still the exact same 5-year old best friends we were when we met. Yes, that means we still like to match and listen to questionable music at times. We also love gossiping, going to concerts (OVO forever), shopping, tagging each other in memes, and TAKING PHOTOS!

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The Photos

Once we finally passed that “awkward phase” (Maybe we’re still in it, I don’t know), we started having photoshoot days. I love taking photos with Cass. Partially because she is incredible at makeup and always does mine, but also because she’s so freakin’ photogenic. Not to mention, we are completely comfortable in front of each other and always supportive of each others crazy photo ideas.

Here are some of my favourite photos I’ve taken of Cass.

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Will you be my Bro’smaid?

After watching what seemed like 500 consecutive episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress,” I couldn’t help but wonder what my future wedding might be like.

As far as weddings go, I never really envisioned myself having one. Standing at an alter, wearing some poufy, white dress, in front of hundreds of guests completely terrifies me. I always just pictured myself coming home one day with a paper from city hall saying that I was now married.

But, this show got me thinking. What if, I actually had a wedding?

I can already imagine, looking around and seeing all of those attentive eyes beaming at me while I profess my love for my soon-to-be spouse. And my partner, well he’d probably be standing next to me sweating and already regretting his decision to enter into a large and dramatic European family.

I would too if I were him.

But, wedding planning extends far beyond finding a spouse and having a ceremony. According to those tacky TLC wedding shows, years go into planning the “perfect wedding.” Apparently, I should’ve started a “Wedding Ideas” Pinterest board by now.

Being quite unconventional, I would want to do something different with my wedding. Not too extreme where my family would disown me, but unique enough so that my guests would still talk about it for years to come.

Maybe I can wear a colored dress, host the reception at a strange venue, or find some wild entertainment. All this has seemed to be done already.

But then it hit me, I want bro’smaids.

It was when I began thinking about my female friends. Well, the ones I would actually want standing next to me at the alter. I realized my list was quite few. There would likely be a possibility of my husband standing by an infinite number of groomsmen while I have a total of two bridesmaids by my side. But, this wouldn’t be an issue if I had all of my guy friends standing next to me as well.

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So it’s set. My bridal party will consist of all my closest friends regardless of their gender. And yes, my bro’smaids would have to attend my bachelorette party, help me pick out a dress, and get ready with me the day of the wedding.

My husband can pick whoever he wants to be in his wedding party as well. To be honest, I would rather not have his childhood best friend, who he once dated, be part of my party. My bridal party is exclusive to my closest friends only.

And me and my bro’smaids, I mean husband, would live happily ever after.

Disclaimer: To my few, loyal and loving girlfriends, I am forever grateful for all of you! 

My Thing

Every blogger kind of has a thing. You know, their niche, voice, hashtag, whatever you may call it. Mine is “Shit that Matters.”

Let me explain…

When I started my blog I didn’t have a focus. I always knew I liked to write. I have countless journal entries, notes on my computer and phone, and stickies all over my room. But a blog was different. It let me share all these thoughts with the world. Woah, for someone pretty closed off this was kind of intimidating. But a few months ago I made “ICON NIC.” Maybe I’ll change the name, maybe I won’t. Yet, I still didn’t have a focus. Like most women in their early 20s, I thought I had wanted something fun, carefree, and well basic. Something that would include culture, fashion, celebrities, beauty products, etc. And yes, I do care about some of those things but not much as I care about SHIT THAT MATTERS.

Everyone who knows me knows I like to bring up, think, and discuss very controversial topics in my everyday discussions. Some people enjoy how I randomly bring up such extreme and diverse ideas and some well, get uncomfortable. But that’s why I decided to make this section of my blog. Because “Shit that Matters” is me. I want people to know my blog for this particular section. Whatever weird thought, question, or discussion I might have, I will post it here.

Welcome everyone! I think this may be, the official launch of ICON NIC.