Bad things happen. It’s inevitable. But, with every negative experience, comes a life lesson. And with every downfall, comes an incentive to change your mindset. Having hardships really makes you appreciate the things that truly matter to you.
When you’re going through a hard time, it is important to remember these few things:
Cherish those people that actually stick around
I can’t emphasize this enough. Very few people stuck by me through my lowest-lows. There are so many reasons why “friends” disappear during difficult times. Most of the time, it is because they were never a true friend to begin with. But, those individuals that stay, those are the people to value the most. Quit forcing friendships that aren’t supposed to be and begin appreciating the true friends you have.
Always search for the bright side
This is easier said than done. When nothing in your life seems to be going the way you planned, it becomes almost impossible to see the light through those hardships. Maybe, you need to start appreciating those consistent elements in your life. You know, all those small things that you would regularly overlook. Sufferings create an opportunity for you to change certain aspects of your life, whether it be your goals, outlooks, or even physical elements like friend groups and career choices. This is not to say that hardships arise because of life decisions, but facing certain struggles definitely allows you to grow as an individual. Always strive to move forward instead of looking back.
Embrace those limitations
Instead of solely ignoring, overlooking, or moving passed the problems and hardships you face, actually take the time to acknowledge what has happened. When you experience difficulty after difficulty like I had this year, it becomes quite tough to reflect on each and every challenge you have faced. But, when you feel like your life is finally going steady, take the time to try and understand how those losses have shaped the person you have become.
I recently celebrated my twenty-first birthday. Twenty-one is an age that seemed so far away. It feels so weird how quickly time flew. I always dreamed of this milestone as a kid. I envisioned so much for myself by this age. I wanted a boyfriend, one that I would eventually marry, I wanted to have a book published by now, I wanted to be moving out of my parents house, applying to ivy league graduate schools, be CEO of some company, any company, and attend Upper West Side cocktail parties. None of these goals have been accomplished… yet. And I’m totally okay with it!
Because as a twenty-one year old, I’ve realized that it is okay to have not accomplished the goals I thought I wanted as a kid. Instead, I am grateful for everything I have learned thus far.
Here are the 21 realizations I’ve had in my twenty-one years of life:
- This is your time to be selfish
- Some people will just never like you. It’s not you, it’s them. So stop wasting your time trying to fucking please them
- Never settle for less than what you deserve
- Stop measuring your worth through how many likes you get on your social media photos
- Other people’s energies rub off on you. Start surrounding yourself with positive people
- The most unexpected, unplanned nights are always the best nights
- Don’t mask your feelings. If something unfortunate happens, you are allowed to be sad, angry, upset, anxious, etc. Make sure you set aside time for yourself to grieve
- It’s better to have a few, good friends instead of a lot of fake friends
- It’s okay to change your life goals
- It’s okay to not have any goals. Enjoy the silence and routine of your everyday life
- When one door closes, another one ALWAYS opens
- Do not change yourself for anyone
- You have to first love yourself before you can fully love someone else
- True happiness can be found in the simplest and smallest things
- It’s important to accept and embrace failure
- Learn to trust your intuition
- Set up boundaries for yourself. It’s the only way to avoid people taking advantage of you
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Be grateful for what you have
- Let go of the past. Holding onto grudges is never a good idea
- Take every experience as a life lesson
- What others think of you really doesn’t matter